Author Archives: Rehan
Riddles of Marriage: “The Pendulum Effect”
As soon as our women get married, they are divinely endowed with the gift of wisdom and determination. This is a great blessing on our nation because as soon as our men get married, they are suddenly deprived of both. Hence, their dependence upon their wives becomes unprecedented, and unquestionable.
After marriage I realized that wisdom has a mysterious side and that determination is another word for patience-till-your-brain-bleeds. In this newly discovered wisdom it is easy, and actually preferred, to take completing opposing decisions after unspecified time intervals for no apparent reason at all. Could you pass me the glass. No! don’t pass me the glass. Why didn’t you pass me the glass? Cancel your meeting. No! don’t cancel the meeting. Why haven’t you canceled your meeting? Take me out to dinner tonight. I don’t want to go to dinner tonight! Cant we go out to eat dinner tonight?
Of course the secret of our successful marriages lie within our blind obedience to our wives. And of course I realize the blessing of taking away my wisdom and determination at marriage, how else would I ever have been able to handle such situations.
Lynching of a Nation
Regarding the two brothers who were lynched in Sialkot. Then know that it is a great event the likes of which cannot be found anywhere except the days of ignorance, or in the persecution of Sahaba (RA).
Through this event, know that the evidence of Allah has been set against us where we have proven to be unaware of the laws of Quran. For Allah says;
“O you who believe! If a wicked person comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth, lest you harm people unwittingly, and afterwards become full of repentance for what you have done.” Surah Hujjurat, Ayat 6.
The Prince, the Troll & the Fairy (Pakistan)
Once upon a time in a land far far away there lived a handsome prince. The prince had been cursed by the witch and was forced to work at a gas station as a lowly laborer. The gas station was owned by the mountain troll who made the prince work fourteen hour shifts each day and only paid him five thousand rupees at the end of each month. Every month, the prince struggled with paying utility bills, house rent, and with trying to provide his wife and two kids with food and basic necessities. Since the money was too less, and the curse too strong, the prince was spending his days in severe hardship and under debt.
Riddles of Marriage: Innately Evil
Did you know I am the cause of all ill that happens between the east and the west? If not, then don’t be surprised, up until marriage I didn’t know this myself. It was only my wife who made me realize and accept this truth. She also made me realize that I will not be able to change this fact as it was in my nature, and that all the bad manners were passed on to the children through me, exclusively.
Know and Apply
During my university years I noticed a subtle pattern between Muslims from Pakistan and those from Arab countries. Arabs were frequently found quoting from the Quran or Sunnah, using sound logic on issues of jurisprudence, and presenting an overall compelling and evidence based argument for their point of view on an Islamic issue. But when it came to application, many were relaxed almost to the point of being lethargic. So, there was a lot of knowledge but not as much action.
Dear Iblees
16th Ramadan 1431
Dear Iblees,
It is quite unfortunate that you have to be imprisoned every Ramadan. Your absence results in heavy losses of our ratings and confusion among your followers. Usually, after Ramadan you are able to take the charge again and bring evil back to normal, however, this time I have some particularly troublesome news to share.
The youth of Pakistan have turned to Allah in sincere repentance and they have promised to fight off your armies when you return from imprisonment. They have made a vow to never submit to their desires, and their vigor in implementing Islam in their lives has reached heights never dreamed before.
The land of the Pure
The essence of a nation can be defined by the core believes of its masses. These believes perpetuate throughout generations in the form of religious, traditional, or moral code. It is the nobility of these qualities that lay down the groundwork of a nation and the roadmap to its greatness. If these traits become overshadowed by the perils of time, a little rain of revival is sufficient to wither off the scalding and reveal the epitome of the people. The time of rain for Pakistan has arrived.
